Optimist
by susiichan
Summary: Animeverse. An empty piece of armour has little need for sleep. Al has a lot of time to challenge himself, his brother and his ideals.


**Author's note**: I sat at down at the computer and thought, "oh look, I'm typing a FMA fanfic. How odd." It's fitting due to my current obsession. I really wanted to get inside Al's armour (haha) and think and little with him about the life he and Edward live, so this is what I ended up writing. This is set during the three years before the series where Ed and Al are searching for the stone.

**Title**: Optimist  
**Fandom**: Fullmetal Alchemist  
**Characters**: Alphonse Elric, Edward Elric.  
**Summary**: Animeverse. An empty piece of armour has little need for sleep. Al has a lot of time to challenge himself, his brother and his ideals.  
**Word Count**: 1394.  
**Rating**: PG-13.  
**Warnings**: Hint of gore.  
**Disclaimer**: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist.

* * *

Most nights, Edward and Alphonse Elric would find someplace at least partially habitable to spend the night, wherever they might happen to be. They'd be cast odd looks and hear whispered curiosities, but a glance at Ed's watch as proof of his identity kept people from prying and automatically granted the two respect.

This wasn't always the case, however. Either because somebody wouldn't let Al in with him and Edward was too stubborn to leave his brother outside, or because there simply wasn't anywhere to go or appropriate matter to transmute - the Elric brothers would sleep under the stars. Gladly, tonight was one of the latter times. The two of them had spent months marching through everything from giant industrial cities to small rural villages not that different to Rosembool, each time picking up on a lead on the philosopher's stone only to find it false and end up back where they had started. Alphonse wasn't so keen on the cycles, but he was less happy that everytime they got close to a discovery and had it taken away Ed became slightly withdrawn, which he covered up by being louder and more irritable than usual. It was something only a select few would pick up on, but Al recognised the difference in his brother as though it were as obvious as the change of colour in the sky between day and night.

Ed snored and Alphonse was careful not to move an inch. The months of travelling had been slowly working away at his brother and although he tried to deny it, Ed was exhausted both physically and mentally. Al had told him time and time again that he was ok by himself whenever Ed needed to sleep, but his brother had insisted on tirelessly ploughing ahead on their search for the stone. He supposed that Edward didn't want him to be lonely, which - Al thought - was a bit silly since he was already thirteen years old and had experienced much worse than a night alone.

They were spread out in an open countryside, the only light source being the moon that glistened on the grass and gave the trees surrounding them a silver shimmer. Al sat upright, leaning against a tree with Edward leaning against his leg. In his sleep, Ed looked serious and his lips curved down as though frowning - something that never ceased to amuse Al. The moonlight danced on the suit on armour Al had come to call his substitute body, or his soul's temporary home, and he admired it. The light gave the armour a silken glow not normally attainable in the daytime, and in the dark he felt he didn't stand out as much. Alphonse fitted into the landscape better than he had ever seemed to fit into the cities - he would sit in silence, gazing in wonder at nocturnal life and the beautiful calm of the world around him. It was a shame, he thought, that so few people really got to understand the sheer magnificence of the wilderness at night time. He also knew that most people, notably Edward, would believe Alphonse Elric should never have been forced to live this way. Al disagreed.

A suit of armour didn't need to sleep. Technically, Al didn't need to sleep, but he believed his soul did need a state of rest and thus spent time trying to put all of their fears and ambitions out of the way regularly in order to get this. He'd stare into space or find something to pay mindless attention to, and would "awake" later when the sun woke and Ed complained about how they were wasting time.

Technically, Al didn't need to sleep, so he would spend the time pondering the days events or making plans for future ones. He thought about the past, but then forced himself to think about the present and what the two brothers still had - each other. Nobody would ever see it, but this would make Al smile inside. Al found he had a lot of time, probably what most would sadly consider too much time, to think. Alphonse had to be optimistic though, especially if nobody else would be. He had to be optimistic enough to support both Ed and himself, had to look forward to the future and earnestly believe that they would find a way to achieve their aims.

Sometimes Al would stray into the dark depths of his memory that he told himself was forbidden and tried to recall exactly what had happened the night his brother and he had tried to retreive their mother's body and soul. He remembered reaching out to Edward, human hands grabbing for each other but moving swiftly apart - the two of them were still complete - then the next thing he knew he was lying beside an Edward missing an arm and a leg. The stumps where they should have been were bleeding dark blood and he had been unconscious, as though in a peaceful trance. Alphonse had hardly noticed the change in his body as he sought help for his older brother - he'd noticed a difference, sure, but he hadn't known what he had become until after he was certain that Ed would be ok. Al had known true terror during those moments, he had been so desperately frightened that he would lose Edward, or that he had already been lost. He went all out to avoid it, but when Al pictured the frantic moments where Ed had transmuted Al's soul into the armour he knew that Ed must have felt that same fear, that same delirious panic and dread embodied into one. It was one of the things that tied the two brothers together. Al knew for certain that each of them would be lost without the other. They were two brothers that could live or die, but either way they would do it together. It was together or not at all.

Al wanted to shake his head as though to banish these thoughts from his head and concentrate on the blossoms on the trees and the gentle gushing of the wind around them, but he knew that the sound of his metal head would surely wake Edward. He was a very light sleeper, and once he woke he would stay up, determined to journey on even if he ended up falling alseep on the road (the amount of times Al had had to catch him in order to prevent injuries from said cause was remarkable).

"Al?"

A small voice. Edward was half-asleep and turning.

"What is it, brother?" Al tried to keep his voice quiet, so not to alarm Ed and cause him to alert himself prematurely.

"Do you... ever feel like you have too much time to think?"

Al could hardly say the truth, despite being obliged to. "More so than some, but it's ok, why - do you?"

"Sometimes."

"You haven't slept properly for a while, have you, brother?"

"Al, I'm sorry."

"You don't have to apologise all the time. It's all right, really."

"Ok."

Then he was asleep again. Alphonse wondered what had been keeping Ed awake, and what his brother was thinking about. He knew his brother was a goal-oriented kind of guy, and only saw his next moves in the chess game the two were playing against the world. Ed probably worried about the unlikeliness of their desired outcome and was disheartened by their lack of getting anywhere in the quest for the stone, but what Al admired about his brother was that Edward had little need for his own optimism. He strongly believed that they would get their bodies back, despite the overwhelming odds. Again Alphonse wondered what his brother had been thinking about, but laid it to rest, suddenly feeling peaceful and calm. It was odd, he had felt such tension and disarray in his mind only a few moments earlier. Edward had calmed him down without trying, had related to him, had assured Alphonse that he wasn't alone. He had, as he had always done in some form or another, comforted Al. His older brother's assured attitude towards their search filled him with continuous hope, supplied him with his own special branch of optimism, and soothed him into finding his inner peace for the night.


End file.
